Affirmations for kids: helpful or harmful?

Key Points

• Affirmations for kids should be chosen carefully.
• Keep the language realistic and empowering. 
• You can teach affirmations to kids from any age.

Positive affirmations for kids can be a way of helping your little ones cope with difficult emotions. Affirmations for kids may seem harmless enough, but knowing the right way to introduce affirmations to kids is important. We spoke with Health Psychologist and Healthylife Advisory Board member Dr Moira Junge to learn more.

What are affirmations for kids, and are they useful?

Positive affirmations are phrases repeated to yourself that are specifically chosen to be motivating, encouraging positive change and boosting self-esteem. Affirmations for kids use the same positive reinforcement, but with more age-appropriate language.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well, not exactly. Studies show unrestricted positive thinking is not necessarily good for mental health, so parents and caregivers need to be a little careful when teaching kids positive affirmations.

“It’s really important for kids, parents and all of us to know that we don’t have to feel good or be positive all the time to have a healthy and happy life,” Dr Moira says. “Many researchers are wary about being taught to be positive, as there is a natural personality disposition in all of us as to whether we are naturally more positive or negative.”

While research around the potential benefits of affirmations for kids is sparse, some studies have shown that teachers who use ‘attribute affirmation’ – praising the attributes of students when presenting them with challenges – may increase student motivation to overcome challenging tasks. Other studies show that affirmations are associated with greater happiness, hopefulness, and health benefits.

So, while more research around the benefits of positive affirmations for kids is needed, there is evidence that people of any age may benefit from a more positive outlook.

How to teach positive affirmations to kids 

Dr Moira says when teaching positive affirmations to kids, you can “start as young as possible if that’s your inclination”. She says some parental support and guidance might be helpful, but promoting independence is wise.

“Use language that is appropriate to your child and explain it as a way of giving the child some tools to cope with negative emotions or experiences,” Dr Moira says. “But always pitch it in the context that they are allowed to be sad, worried or angry at times – and that it is normal and acceptable. Make sure they know there isn’t an expectation to try to be positive whenever something upsets them.”

Dr Moira suggests keeping the affirmations modest, realistic and empowering, such as:

• “I am important and loved.”
• “I have people to help me through the times in which I am sad or worried.”
• “I don’t have to cope on my own; it’s important to ask for help.”
• “I don’t need to be happy and positive all the time, and life is full of ups and downs.”
  

Affirmations for kids: what not to do

Dr Moira says it’s important not to turn affirmations into wishful thinking exercises.
“Make sure the affirmations are realistic, true and attainable,” she says.

Avoid teaching unrealistic affirmations like:

• “I am the best!”
• “I am invincible!”
• “I am a superhero!” 

Words for the little ones 

While studies on the benefits of affirmations for kids are lacking, this doesn’t necessarily mean affirmations aren’t helpful. When practised with caution, as advised by Dr Moira, they may be a simple way to help kids feel good about themselves. However, if you’re concerned about your child’s mental wellbeing, always seek advice from a healthcare professional.  

Related:

• Teaching kids gratitude – here’s how
• Why you need gratitude affirmations in your life
• Ever tried a mindfulness colouring book to help you relax?

Dr Moira Junge, a healthylife Advisory Board member, is a registered, practising health psychologist with the added specialty of sleep. She has been in private practice for over 20 years and is the CEO of the Sleep Health Foundation and was a founding member of the Behavioural Management of Sleep Disorders Committee within the Australasian Sleep Association (ASA). Dr Moira was also Chair of the ASA Insomnia and Sleep Health Council (2008-2015) and is a full member of the Australian Psychological Society.

Reviewed by the Healthylife Advisory Board November 2023.